Have you ever had a conversation with someone that was, well, hard to get into? If you have, then you probably felt like getting away from that situation as soon as you could. What you have to realize is that women feel the same way most of the time when guys try to talk to them.
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
When you feel like a conversation is really hard to get into or it just doesn't feel easy, most of the time that is due to a lack of RAPPORT with the person that you are speaking to. When you feel lots of rapport, even talking about the weather can be easy and kind of fun. So, this is something that you have to get right. You have to be able to make a woman feel rapport when she is with you and talking to you.
Showing her that you have some shared interests is one of the BEST ways to get her feeling like she wants to exchange phone numbers or spend time with you later. If she feels that you and her have some things in common, that becomes something that you can talk about that leads to her wanting to spend time with you. So, find some of those common interests as quickly as you can.Angelica was a gorgeous 24 year old graduate student who had asked me this question: "Why don't men know how to talk to women?"
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
Body language is something that we don't really put too much thought into most of the time. It's something that we just subconsciously do, the way that we stand or the way that we hold ourselves. Yet, that is another way that you can either send out a good vibe or a bad vibe. Let me tell you, most men send out bad vibes just from their body language.
If you want to learn how to talk to women then you should pay very close attention to the conversation I just had with Angelica. She gave us all real insight into what women are looking for when men walk up to them. But there's also a lot she left out and I'm going to fill in some of that gap. Most attractive women are attention seekers.
Then you want to spend some time saying the words out loud. This will help you rehearse and say things smoothly, and it also engages your "auditory" modality. And you also want to spend some time reviewing things on paper. Read and re-read the phrases and information you want to commit to memory. This will engage your "visual" modality.But even this is not enough for most of us. You need ONE extra simple step to make this work, and it's something that not many guys know about. I've got a special method that increases your results about 1000%.How to talk to women - STEP 3: ENGAGE "SITUATIONAL REHEARSAL" TECHNIQUE Back when I was in high school, I used to have a good method of learning material I needed for tests. You probably did, too.
The problem most men have when talking to women is that they try way too hard not to make mistakes. They don't want to say the wrong thing. They don't want to make a wrong impression. They fear rejection. They believe that they don't know what to say when it comes to women. None of this is true. The biggest thing that gets between men and women talking is what's going on between your left ear and your right ear.
If you walked up to a little kid and started talking to them would you be thinking any of these things? What about walking up to a friend? What about walking up to a 70 year old women? In your mind you view these things a harmless. You view them as having equal or less social value than you do, so it's far easier to approach them and start a conversation. Yet, if you see a very good-looking woman, your tongue gets tied up and your mind begins playing tricks on you.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
(I used to do this all the time, and make up some pretty crazy conversations to see if I could get people around me to listen in. "He hit the cop with a baseball bat??? No WAY!" Try it sometime... it's better than prank phone calling.) The point of this is that you must get out there and put yourself in as many DIFFERENT situations where you have to recall the information you're trying to memorize. The more situations you find to rehearse in, the better you'll be when it counts - in front of a woman.By using my technique, you activate millions more neurons in your brain, which commits the words DEEP into your memory. And then this helps you pull out the words when you really need to, and you won't have any of those embarrassing gaps and silences in your conversations with women.
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
When you feel like a conversation is really hard to get into or it just doesn't feel easy, most of the time that is due to a lack of RAPPORT with the person that you are speaking to. When you feel lots of rapport, even talking about the weather can be easy and kind of fun. So, this is something that you have to get right. You have to be able to make a woman feel rapport when she is with you and talking to you.
Showing her that you have some shared interests is one of the BEST ways to get her feeling like she wants to exchange phone numbers or spend time with you later. If she feels that you and her have some things in common, that becomes something that you can talk about that leads to her wanting to spend time with you. So, find some of those common interests as quickly as you can.Angelica was a gorgeous 24 year old graduate student who had asked me this question: "Why don't men know how to talk to women?"
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
Body language is something that we don't really put too much thought into most of the time. It's something that we just subconsciously do, the way that we stand or the way that we hold ourselves. Yet, that is another way that you can either send out a good vibe or a bad vibe. Let me tell you, most men send out bad vibes just from their body language.
If you want to learn how to talk to women then you should pay very close attention to the conversation I just had with Angelica. She gave us all real insight into what women are looking for when men walk up to them. But there's also a lot she left out and I'm going to fill in some of that gap. Most attractive women are attention seekers.
Then you want to spend some time saying the words out loud. This will help you rehearse and say things smoothly, and it also engages your "auditory" modality. And you also want to spend some time reviewing things on paper. Read and re-read the phrases and information you want to commit to memory. This will engage your "visual" modality.But even this is not enough for most of us. You need ONE extra simple step to make this work, and it's something that not many guys know about. I've got a special method that increases your results about 1000%.How to talk to women - STEP 3: ENGAGE "SITUATIONAL REHEARSAL" TECHNIQUE Back when I was in high school, I used to have a good method of learning material I needed for tests. You probably did, too.
The problem most men have when talking to women is that they try way too hard not to make mistakes. They don't want to say the wrong thing. They don't want to make a wrong impression. They fear rejection. They believe that they don't know what to say when it comes to women. None of this is true. The biggest thing that gets between men and women talking is what's going on between your left ear and your right ear.
If you walked up to a little kid and started talking to them would you be thinking any of these things? What about walking up to a friend? What about walking up to a 70 year old women? In your mind you view these things a harmless. You view them as having equal or less social value than you do, so it's far easier to approach them and start a conversation. Yet, if you see a very good-looking woman, your tongue gets tied up and your mind begins playing tricks on you.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
(I used to do this all the time, and make up some pretty crazy conversations to see if I could get people around me to listen in. "He hit the cop with a baseball bat??? No WAY!" Try it sometime... it's better than prank phone calling.) The point of this is that you must get out there and put yourself in as many DIFFERENT situations where you have to recall the information you're trying to memorize. The more situations you find to rehearse in, the better you'll be when it counts - in front of a woman.By using my technique, you activate millions more neurons in your brain, which commits the words DEEP into your memory. And then this helps you pull out the words when you really need to, and you won't have any of those embarrassing gaps and silences in your conversations with women.
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Read more about How To Talk To Women , and also watch out on How To Talk To Girls for your needs.
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