Does your self esteem wavor when you see apparently flawless females? Women and girls often get the brunt of air brushed media images. Does just looking at those perfect models make you want to sink even further into the proverbial bed?Or perhaps you avoid any media comparison, and yet still experience low self esteem from the messages you picked up in the family environment. Did your parents want a girl? did they value you? We're you an awkward teenager? Are you a stressed out mum that puts herself and her needs last? Are you a manager that let's her colleagues dump their extra workload on to her?
Ask your teen questions instead of giving orders or suggestions. Your teen is going through some major changes. Some of these changes are physical and some are emotional. When you ask someone to do something you are showing respect for them as a person.Try to find ways to treat teens as adults. Teens are not mature adults, but they are no longer little children either. One of the biggest complaints that young ladies have is their parents treat them as children. Maybe you can extend their curfew a bit or add other privileges. If you are interested in building self esteem in teenage girls, let them know that they are becoming young women.Maybe your young lady has problems with acne or her weight. Personal appearance is extremely important at this age. Let her know that you are there to help in any way. Schedule a doctor appointment, as sometimes this can help. In any manner, your teen needs to know that she can call on you for anything at anytime.Set a good example. Kids learn so much from watching their parents. If you think your teen has a problem with self esteem, she may have learned it from you. Think about how you conduct yourself around others. If you think that you have a low opinion of the person in your mirror, then maybe you should work on that first before helping your teen.
Really love yourself!Read this list every day.Create a list of your top goals and take baby steps every day. Think about goals relating to your career, finances, hobbies, spiritual development.Choose to focus on the positive aspects of your self and others every day, and don't take their negativity personally. Your new positive outlook may unnerve those stuck in the dumps; so stay focused on your positive feelings and don't get attached to someone else's trash.Put yourself first!
Yes you read that right.Women are often programmed to be the support person - whether it's to their partner, children or boss; or all the above.Drop the 'martyr' label, and put your happiness and needs first. Be body aware by feeding your body healthy food and taking care of it's needs. Choose to focus on the benefits of healthy eating rather than the pain and punishment associated with yo-yo dieting.Be emotionally aware by doing things that are fun and fulfilling for you. Don't agree to do something you're not 100% happy with, or cancel your plans to accommodate others. Compromise in a relationship is good, but not at the expense of your happiness and not if it's a familiar habit of giving in.And for goodness sake - spoil yourself sometimes! You deserve it.
Be spiritually aware by developing your connection to what you believe in. Take time to relax in nature and re-charge your batteries. Nurture your soul with beauty, peace and love.Putting your needs first is not an act of selfishness, but rather healthy self love and respect. When a woman puts her needs first, she commands respect and appreciation. If you have old patterns of giving in, thinking about the needs of others, denying yourself any fun and pleasure - did those feelings make you feel good? Did you feel resentful and unappreciated?When you give to yourself, you do only feed your spirit, but you fill the reservoirs of your love and in doing so you can love others too.
As parents, we are so busy working 40-50 hours a week sometimes more that we don't always see the signs. Low self esteem among teenagers is huge and very troubling. Here's a few statistics that alarmed me extremely.Girls with low self esteem are more likely to have sex at a young age. 50% of girls interviewed said they had sex by the time in they were in 9th grade some even earlier. The good stat is that 75% of girls of aged 9 say they like the way they look. That number drastically goes down to 56% by the age of 12 and 13. BY the age of nine, 50% of girls say they have been on a diet or are on a diet. Do you know that 7 million girls and women have an eating disorder and that 20% of women are bulimic in America?
I see these challenges in my peers all the time. So, what is a major source of this low self-esteem? It's actually negative self-talk. That's right, we have found the "enemy" and that enemy is the "Mental Me". It is the voice in our head that is critical and always comparing and judging.It is also the voice that may have come from external "mean girls" that we encountered early in life. I managed to avoid a lot of external mean girl voices, as I grew up in an environment that cultivated my aggressive side, so most girls did not mess with me. However, I was my worse critic.
My "Mental Me", the story of who I thought I was, worked overtime. It was a mean girl voice from my childhood still haunting me, one that came from my perception of the rejection I felt from home, standards of those around me, or from comparing myself to others and playing small.You see we store memories at the cellular level - this is scientific fact. It was really cruel, and ironically, the thing is, I was not particularly mean to other girls. You see at heart, I'm very sensitive about not overtly hurting others. Yes, I have clear boundaries and will say no when I want to, but bullying was never a weakness of mine.Yet, I "bullied" myself often with "not good enough, not worthy or not pretty enough" all the time. Well, thank goodness for my determined spirit and the realization that the true essence of me, is not the same as what I "think" about me. I learned that I was not my thought and now neuroscience supports that fact that we can stop negative self-talk as we learn how to recognize these stories for what they are - FEAR; Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality is my acronym for it.
By the way, when I say outgoing, I don't mean the person next to you at work that just can't shut up. I mean the person that can have conversation with anyone, that person.The second item is character. Help your son or daughter build their character. Make them make the hard choices. Don't let them get away with the occasional lying or unacceptable behavior. Make them understand in a positive way that there are consequences for not behaving correctly in today's society and they will result in some sort of negative ways for them. Hold them accountable just like you think the society will hold them accountable so they are ready when they become an adult.
Ask your teen questions instead of giving orders or suggestions. Your teen is going through some major changes. Some of these changes are physical and some are emotional. When you ask someone to do something you are showing respect for them as a person.Try to find ways to treat teens as adults. Teens are not mature adults, but they are no longer little children either. One of the biggest complaints that young ladies have is their parents treat them as children. Maybe you can extend their curfew a bit or add other privileges. If you are interested in building self esteem in teenage girls, let them know that they are becoming young women.Maybe your young lady has problems with acne or her weight. Personal appearance is extremely important at this age. Let her know that you are there to help in any way. Schedule a doctor appointment, as sometimes this can help. In any manner, your teen needs to know that she can call on you for anything at anytime.Set a good example. Kids learn so much from watching their parents. If you think your teen has a problem with self esteem, she may have learned it from you. Think about how you conduct yourself around others. If you think that you have a low opinion of the person in your mirror, then maybe you should work on that first before helping your teen.
Really love yourself!Read this list every day.Create a list of your top goals and take baby steps every day. Think about goals relating to your career, finances, hobbies, spiritual development.Choose to focus on the positive aspects of your self and others every day, and don't take their negativity personally. Your new positive outlook may unnerve those stuck in the dumps; so stay focused on your positive feelings and don't get attached to someone else's trash.Put yourself first!
Yes you read that right.Women are often programmed to be the support person - whether it's to their partner, children or boss; or all the above.Drop the 'martyr' label, and put your happiness and needs first. Be body aware by feeding your body healthy food and taking care of it's needs. Choose to focus on the benefits of healthy eating rather than the pain and punishment associated with yo-yo dieting.Be emotionally aware by doing things that are fun and fulfilling for you. Don't agree to do something you're not 100% happy with, or cancel your plans to accommodate others. Compromise in a relationship is good, but not at the expense of your happiness and not if it's a familiar habit of giving in.And for goodness sake - spoil yourself sometimes! You deserve it.
Be spiritually aware by developing your connection to what you believe in. Take time to relax in nature and re-charge your batteries. Nurture your soul with beauty, peace and love.Putting your needs first is not an act of selfishness, but rather healthy self love and respect. When a woman puts her needs first, she commands respect and appreciation. If you have old patterns of giving in, thinking about the needs of others, denying yourself any fun and pleasure - did those feelings make you feel good? Did you feel resentful and unappreciated?When you give to yourself, you do only feed your spirit, but you fill the reservoirs of your love and in doing so you can love others too.
As parents, we are so busy working 40-50 hours a week sometimes more that we don't always see the signs. Low self esteem among teenagers is huge and very troubling. Here's a few statistics that alarmed me extremely.Girls with low self esteem are more likely to have sex at a young age. 50% of girls interviewed said they had sex by the time in they were in 9th grade some even earlier. The good stat is that 75% of girls of aged 9 say they like the way they look. That number drastically goes down to 56% by the age of 12 and 13. BY the age of nine, 50% of girls say they have been on a diet or are on a diet. Do you know that 7 million girls and women have an eating disorder and that 20% of women are bulimic in America?
I see these challenges in my peers all the time. So, what is a major source of this low self-esteem? It's actually negative self-talk. That's right, we have found the "enemy" and that enemy is the "Mental Me". It is the voice in our head that is critical and always comparing and judging.It is also the voice that may have come from external "mean girls" that we encountered early in life. I managed to avoid a lot of external mean girl voices, as I grew up in an environment that cultivated my aggressive side, so most girls did not mess with me. However, I was my worse critic.
My "Mental Me", the story of who I thought I was, worked overtime. It was a mean girl voice from my childhood still haunting me, one that came from my perception of the rejection I felt from home, standards of those around me, or from comparing myself to others and playing small.You see we store memories at the cellular level - this is scientific fact. It was really cruel, and ironically, the thing is, I was not particularly mean to other girls. You see at heart, I'm very sensitive about not overtly hurting others. Yes, I have clear boundaries and will say no when I want to, but bullying was never a weakness of mine.Yet, I "bullied" myself often with "not good enough, not worthy or not pretty enough" all the time. Well, thank goodness for my determined spirit and the realization that the true essence of me, is not the same as what I "think" about me. I learned that I was not my thought and now neuroscience supports that fact that we can stop negative self-talk as we learn how to recognize these stories for what they are - FEAR; Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality is my acronym for it.
By the way, when I say outgoing, I don't mean the person next to you at work that just can't shut up. I mean the person that can have conversation with anyone, that person.The second item is character. Help your son or daughter build their character. Make them make the hard choices. Don't let them get away with the occasional lying or unacceptable behavior. Make them understand in a positive way that there are consequences for not behaving correctly in today's society and they will result in some sort of negative ways for them. Hold them accountable just like you think the society will hold them accountable so they are ready when they become an adult.
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